A New Hobby

I decided to take up a new hobby. I need something to do that is just for me, so the hobby of the week is jewelry making. Beaded jewelry. I went to Michael's and bought a little kit. I haven't started it yet, but I will tonight. I figured a kit would be the easiest way for me to get my feet wet with it. I hope this doesn't turn out like the candle making, and the soap making..... I bought books and supplies for both of those hobbies, and never did a single thing with them. I seriously lack follow through! But I remember loving doing crafts as a kid. Especially weaving and latch hook rugs (hush- it was the 70's!)

I don't want to get too far ahead of myself, but I already kind of have a plan for making a little bit of money by selling beaded jewelry. Of course, I should really concentrate on actually making my first piece. Otherwise this will be like every other bright idea I've had in the last few years!

My plan is to work on the little kit I got from Michael's. I'll try to remember to take some pictures!

I NEED YOUR HELP!

As you know, I lost my friend of 20+ years to breast cancer. Michelle was an amazing woman- adventurous, determined, passionate, bold..... In her honor, I have decided to do something bold, and participate in the Breast Cancer 3 Day in November. I will be walking 60 miles in 3 days, and I need to raise a minimum of $2300 to do this. So, if you can, I ask that you make a donation, and I ask that you send others my way, so they can donate too! There is a widget over there... on the right side of your screen. Just click it, and you will be taken to my donation page.

Thank you so much!

How to Help Preemie Moms (and Dads too!)

Parents of preemies are under an amazing amount of stress, and the earlier the baby is born, the higher the stress and worry level. Any help or support you can offer, will be met with great appreciation.

Preemie parents want, and need, to spend as much time at the hospital with their little miracle as possible. The more time parents and baby can spend together, in most cases, the better the baby will do. A preemie mom usually endures great amounts of guilt over her baby's prematurity. Being able to spend as much time as possible caring for the baby can not only help ease those feelings somewhat, but can have great impact on the mom's milk supply, as she will most likely be pumping breast milk to nourish her baby. I can tell you from experience, that exclusively pumping is no easy task. When you deliver prematurely, your body isn't quite ready to produce milk, yet you have to force it into production, by pumping every two to three hours. Holding and touching your baby releases hormones that help milk production.

Here are a few ideas of things that can be really helpful for preemie parents.

• Prepare meals for them that are quick and easy to heat up. They'll probably be eating on the go a lot, but it's nice to have a real meal too.
• Offer to do errands, like grocery shopping, and even helping with housework and yard work.
• If they have other children, it can be difficult for them to spend as much time as they would like at the hospital, so offering to care for their other children would be a great help.
• Many times, preemies are cared for at hospitals that are quite a distance from where the parents live, making it almost impossible for much visitation. Taking up a collection among friends, or even at church, to be able to provide a hotel room for a few nights near the hospital would be an amazing gift.
• Provide gift cards to a gas station, Starbucks, or even restaurants near the hospital, to help offset some of their expenses.

One of the biggest ways to support a preemie mom, or even dad, is to ask about the baby. They are new parents, and like anyone with a new baby, they want to talk about him. They want to brag about the fact that he finally opened his eyes, or that she cried for the first time. Don't be afraid to ask about the baby. When #3 was born, nobody asked about him. It felt like no one wanted to acknowledge his existence. I was desperate to tell people about my new baby- he was my first after all. I wanted to brag about him, just like any other new mommy.

When the baby finally comes home from the hospital, the parents may still need support and help. The baby may require lots of extra care. There may be several doctor appointments per week, so offering to help with older kids on those days would help alleviate stress.

When the baby comes home from the hospital, the parents may seem "over-protective" about germs, people touching the baby, or taking the baby out in public. They may even ask you to wash your hands, and use hand sanitizer when you come for a visit. They may not allow young children, or anyone with a cough to come visit. PLEASE support them. It may seem silly to you, but they just spent weeks, or even months, at the hospital, hoping and praying that their baby would survive. They are still very nervous about something happening to their baby. Preemies are at a very high risk for contracting RSV, and can die from a virus that would cause a cold in a full term baby.

There are lots of things you can do to help preemie parents, so just be creative. Also, you may have to be a bit pushy with them, and rather than asking "what can I do?" you may have to just tell them "I'm going to xyz..." They may feel like they don't want to burden the people around them by asking for help, but they need the help and support you can offer.

Ahhhh Freedom!

I just got back from taking #1 and #2 to school! It was a long three week vacation, but overall it was a good vacation. However, they were definitely ready to go back, and I was ready to send them back. We had a lot of the usual bickering and tattling, and general male posturing, but very little out-right bad behavior. I didn't accomplish quite as much as I had wanted to, but losing Michelle threw me for a loop, and I just couldn't find my focus or motivation to do much. It's time to pick myself up, and forge ahead though, so today I have to do about 134 loads of dishes and 9,546,811 loads of laundry. At least that's how it feels. LOL

The Loss Of A Friend

Last week, I lost a very dear friend. Michelle and I have been friends since the first day of our freshman year of high school. That was in 1986. Michelle was one of those people that the minute you meet, you just know you will be friends forever. It was that way with us. We weren't "best" friends. I've never really had a true "best" friend (other than The Man, of course.) Michelle was best friends with Renee, and I was jealous of that friendship. But I liked Renee a lot too, so I never begrudged them their relationship- I was just very envious of it.

Over the years, Michelle and I could go long periods of time without being in contact, and then one of us would pick up the phone, and it would be as if we had never been apart. For the last 4 1/2-ish years it has been more difficult for us to talk or see each other. I've been busy figuring out this parenting thing, and she's been busy traveling the globe and building her career.

About a month after my dad died, Michelle emailed me, wanting to try to find some time to get together. I was in such a funk, I never responded to her. Months passed, and in December, she called. She let me know that she had been diagnosed with breast cancer earlier in the year. She had a mastectomy, and had undergone chemo and radiation, but the cancer was still growing. Michelle was determined to fight and never give in though. Needless to say, I was devastated. I had just lost my Dad to lung cancer, and now one of my dearest friends was battling cancer.

I was determined to talk to Michelle as often as possible, once I found out she was sick. When #3 was born, The Man and I were basically abandoned by all of our friends- no one called to check on us, no one offered any assistance, no one called just to say "hi." It was a very lonely time, and I swore I would never do that to a friend facing a crisis. I emailed Michelle a couple of times, but she never responded. I thought of calling her, but I didn't want to intrude on her life, or be bothersome. She had a lot going on in December and January. So, I put it off.

In March, Michelle became very ill, and was hospitalized. I went and saw her after about a week. She was struggling, but she and her doctors were talking about her recovery, and sending her home within a few days. I spent several hours visiting with her, and her husband Glen. I wanted to go back and see her again, but time always seemed to be a problem- the kids started Spring Break, they were sick.... a couple of weeks passed before I knew it, and Michelle was still in the hospital, and getting worse rather than better.

I wanted to see her so badly, to let her know how much she meant to me. I wanted to be there for her and Glen. But I also didn't want to be in the way. Finally, I had planned to go see her on Friday, April 3rd. Unfortunately, she passed that morning. I have been devastated since getting the news that she was gone. I feel like a horrible friend. I should have been there more- for her, for Glen. I feel like I failed them both. I don't know how to move past these feelings. I loved Michelle so much. I will miss her for the rest of my life.

Spring Has Sprung

Today is the first day of Spring, and I feel great! I started a diet (again) three weeks ago, and I've lost 5lbs so far. Not bad, considering the kids and I have all taken turns being sick for the last few weeks. We all seem to be feeling better now, so fingers crossed that I can fit in some exercise.

Today was also the last day of school for #1 and #2- they're on Spring break for the next 3 weeks. We have homework over the break though. #1 has an assigned report, plus math practice. #2 has some areas on his recent progress report that he is seriously falling behind on. He has difficulty focusing sometimes (what 1st grader doesn't, right?) and has missed some stuff that we have to catch up on. Plus, I want to take some day trips to the zoo, and the aquarium. My plan is to keep everyone really busy this break, so nobody can get on anybody's nerves!

We just celebrated #2's birthday, but the photos are still in the camera. I'll try to upload them tomorrow and get them posted. I can't believe he's 7 already. When I look at the pictures of him from when he first came to live with us, it's hard to believe he was that little, quiet toddler. He's far from quiet now!

Who Are You, and What Have You Done With My Child?

If you've been following me, you probably know that #2 has had some *ahem* challenging behavior issues in the past. He is a very strong willed child. He tends to do what he wants to do, when he wants to do it. His is the type of personality that will probably serve him well as an adult, but as a child unable to control his impulses, it gets him into trouble.

His lack of impulse control has continually gotten him into trouble at school. He can't stay in his seat, he bothers other kids, he even drank the teacher's soda one day. Oddly though, since school resumed after winter break, he has been as close to angelic as a child can get. His behavior has improved exponentially. I wish I knew what was making him follow rules now. Maybe he is just maturing, and realizing that getting in trouble isn't any fun. I don't know if this new behavior will last, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed!