How to Help Preemie Parents

Parents of preemies are under an amazing amount of stress, and the earlier the baby is born, the higher the stress and worry level. Any help or support you can offer, will be met with great appreciation.

Preemie parents want, and need, to spend as much time at the hospital with their little miracle as possible. The more time parents and baby can spend together, in most cases, the better the baby will do. A preemie mom usually endures great amounts of guilt over her baby's prematurity. Being able to spend as much time as possible caring for the baby can not only help ease those feelings somewhat, but can have great impact on the mom's milk supply, as she will most likely be pumping breast milk to nourish her baby. I can tell you from experience, that exclusively pumping is no easy task. When you deliver prematurely, your body isn't quite ready to produce milk, yet you have to force it into production, by pumping every two to three hours. Holding and touching your baby releases hormones that help milk production.

Here are a few ideas of things that can be really helpful for preemie parents.

• Prepare meals for them that are quick and easy to heat up. They'll probably be eating on the go a lot, but it's nice to have a real meal too.
• Offer to do errands, like grocery shopping, and even helping with housework and yard work.
• If they have other children, it can be difficult for them to spend as much time as they would like at the hospital, so offering to care for their other children would be a great help.
• Many times, preemies are cared for at hospitals that are quite a distance from where the parents live, making it almost impossible for much visitation. Taking up a collection among friends, or even at church, to be able to provide a hotel room for a few nights near the hospital would be an amazing gift.
• Provide gift cards to a gas station, Starbucks, or even restaurants near the hospital, to help offset some of their expenses.

One of the biggest ways to support a preemie mom, or even dad, is to ask about the baby. They are new parents, and like anyone with a new baby, they want to talk about him. They want to brag about the fact that he finally opened his eyes, or that she cried for the first time. Don't be afraid to ask about the baby. When #3 was born, nobody asked about him. It felt like no one wanted to acknowledge his existence. I was desperate to tell people about my new baby- he was my first after all. I wanted to brag about him, just like any other new mommy.

When the baby finally comes home from the hospital, the parents may still need support and help. The baby may require lots of extra care. There may be several doctor appointments per week, so offering to help with older kids on those days would help alleviate stress.

When the baby comes home from the hospital, the parents may seem "over-protective" about germs, people touching the baby, or taking the baby out in public. They may even ask you to wash your hands, and use hand sanitizer when you come for a visit. They may not allow young children, or anyone with a cough to come visit. PLEASE support them. It may seem silly to you, but they just spent weeks, or even months, at the hospital, hoping and praying that their baby would survive. They are still very nervous about something happening to their baby. Preemies are at a very high risk for contracting RSV, and can die from a virus that would cause a cold in a full term baby.

There are lots of things you can do to help preemie parents, so just be creative. Also, you may have to be a bit pushy with them, and rather than asking "what can I do?" you may have to just tell them "I'm going to xyz..." They may feel like they don't want to burden the people around them by asking for help, but they need the help and support you can offer.